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How to cheapen a good thing

While this was deliciously snide all by itself, it became nothing short of petty when the 800 lb. gorilla edited by your good pal piled on.

Meet Me in Fucking St. Louis, BABY!!!!!

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

One year later...

The blog is still here.
I moved.
I still haven't fully unpacked.
The (artist formerly known as the ex-)roomie has returned.
I have the same job.
I do a bit more work.
I'm beginning to feel the pinch.
Dubya still infuriates me.
So do all the religious fundamentalists.
I still find her captivating.
I'm still restless.
I'm clean(er).
I'm fat(ter).
I go out less.
I'm still single. Kind of.
The Car is no more.
Replaced by New Car.
I watch "The West Wing" again.
I still haven't met her.
Everyone I know is either having kids or splitting up.
I couldn't begin to tell you where I will be this time, next year.

Here's hoping the Illini beat the crap out of his team, force him back into that stupid mascot costume and bitchslap the little fuck back to Milwaukee

Bruce Pearl - Human Piece of Excrement [via Taylor Bell & Clyde Travis in the Chicago Sun Times]:

In 1989, [Deon] Thomas was a 6-9 star at Simeon. He was Mr. Basketball in Illinois. He led his team to a 28-1 record. Simeon was ranked No. 1 in the state and No. 3 in the nation before losing to King in the Public League championship game. Thomas was recruited by Illinois, Iowa, Arizona and Minnesota.

[Bruce] Pearl was a young and rising star on coach Tom Davis' staff at Iowa. Ambitious and aggressive, he was eager to loosen [Illinios Assistant Coach Jimmy] Collins' stranglehold on recruiting in the Chicago area by landing Thomas.

Ironically, Thomas said he was leaning to Iowa at the outset of the recruiting process. But his grandmother, who along with Simeon coach Bob Hambric was the most influential person in his life until her death in 1994, advised him to attend Illinois because she didn't like or trust Pearl.

When Thomas informed Pearl of his decision to attend Illinois, Pearl went ballistic. He had an inkling about the turnabout because he had been paying Thomas' closest friend, Renaldo Kyles, to report every move. He was aware that Illinois had closed the gap and Thomas had changed his mind.

Later, Pearl taped a two-minute telephone conversation with Thomas and handed the evidence to the NCAA, prompting an investigation. In the tape, made without Thomas' knowledge, it was alleged that Thomas confirmed he was offered $80,000 and a Chevrolet Blazer to sign with Illinois. Thomas denied the allegation.

"Pearl asked me, 'Deon, I heard you got $80,000 and a Blazer from Illinois,''' Thomas recounted. "I said, 'Where did you hear that?' Pearl's response was, 'I heard it through the grapevine.' My response was, 'Yeah, OK.' That was it.''

He said he was "completely shocked'' when he later was requested to attend a meeting with NCAA officials in Chicago and learned about the tape. "I knew I had been set up,'' Thomas said.

Thomas also claimed Pearl showed up in Amsterdam while the Simeon team was participating in an international tournament. He said Pearl gave him $100, drove him and three teammates around town in a rented car and paid for their lunch. Pearl denied the allegation.

Thomas' mother claimed that Pearl threatened to make public her drug dependency if her son didn't go to Iowa.

Here's Pat Forde's take on ESPN.com.

Tune in Thursday at 4:27 p.m. PT to see the #1 Ranked Fighting Illini continue their march to St. Louis (and watch them impose some serious retribution).

For even less, Graydon got $100k

Here's our photo, if you want to use it...

Asked & Answered

Q: When did being a woman become an acceptable excuse to be batshit insane?

A: "Ssssssssssssssssssss, wanna buy an apple?"

Question courtesy of Lindsay.

It's certainly not the recreational stuff that's going to do me in

The patient on tonight's "House" rerun came thisclose to partying with Drs. Thompson & Bethe from an accidental overdose of colchicine, a drug that is among the prescribed arsenal against my sole medical condition. Here's what it says verbatim on my script:

TAKE 2 TABLETS BY MOUTH AT FIRST SIGN OF ATTACK, THEN 1 TABLET THEREAFTER UNTIL RELIEF OR ONSET OF DIARRHEA

This is straight off WedMD:

Side Effects

80% of people who take colchicine in doses that are high enough to be effective develop stomach problems, such as cramping, nausea, diarrhea, or vomiting.

Common, mild side effects include:

Nausea.
Vomiting.
Diarrhea.
Serious side effects of colchicine include bone marrow problems and muscle inflammation. Colchicine is usually avoided or the dose adjusted in people who have reduced kidney function.

Thankfully I only have to take it to combat flare-ups (one every two or so years) and not prophylactically. That said, nothing I have ever ingested or inhaled (and I mean NOTHING) has ever made me feel as shitty (pun absolutely intended) as those tiny white pills. And to think I wasn't even aware that it could kill me too.

See, I always knew that Fox was educational...

Cover jinx, my ass . . .

Over the last six minutes of the game, Purdue closed out on a 14-to-3 run.

Thus, the undisputed #1 Fighting Illini had to settle for a mere 34 point win: 84-50.

FYI-- Dee Brown hit 7 threes in the first half on the way to scoring 27 points in 26 minutes on the floor.

29 and 0, only 10 more to go


MC Gusto, my good friend, you have 29 days to get your spare bedroom in shape.

If these two crazy kids can't make it, what chance have I?

Pregnant Denise Divorcing Charlie

Denise Richards filed for divorce from Sheen Wednesday after nearly three years of marriage.

According to the divorce petition posted on CelebrityJustice.com, Richards cites irreconcilable differences for the split.

The couple have a daughter, Sam, who turns one next week, and Richards is six months pregnant with the couple's second child, who is due in early June. The actress wants custody of the children and is seeking spousal support payments from Sheen.

Ol' Charlie must have done some serious Oscar™ related damage if his SIX MONTHS PREGNANT wife is dumping his ass. Where's little Chuckie been spending his time?

UPDATE--

Straight outta Gawker:

"But seriously, what the fuck? Is nothing sacred anymore? Not to get all 'love is dead' on you kids, but if rich, aesthetically-pleasing, rehabbed simpletons can’t make it, who can? Why do we even get out of bed in the morning?"

Let the record show I posted first. Oh, and Happy Belated B-day, Jess.

How to survive extreme sugar shock

Read this.

NOW, before you pull the trigger, read this.

One's a parody and the other is just a complete and utter joke. It's reaffirming to know that Lindsay & Alex are on the case when someone irrevocably crosses that fine line from (marginal) legitimacy to outright travesty.

Good job guys.