Incidental Acts of Spontaneous Cerebral Violence

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Social Conventions - Super Bowl Edition

1. A super bowl party invite should not be made five minutes prior to kickoff when the party in question is a minimum half-hour drive away.

2. An individual at a super bowl party should refrain from making any druken non-football related phone calls DURING THE GAME to any individual not at that very same super bowl party.

3. It is not considered polite form to cancel a super bowl party RSVP with an "Im in vegas" text message sent mid-second quarter.

4. It is perfectly acceptable to base one's rooting interest solely upon the alma mater of a team's quarterback.

5. Regardless of how pathetic Paris Hilton's SNL performance may have been, a postmortem analysis does not take precedence over Sir Paul. Ever.

6. The failure of a team to properly manage the clock in the waning minutes of the most important game of their respective careers is a reason sufficient to call their (likable) head coach and (overwhelmed) star quarterback "a couple of complete and utter schmucks."


7. There is only one answer to the question of who gave the best individual performance at Super Bowl XXXIX: Charlie Daniels. Yes, Charlie Fucking Daniels.

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