Incidental Acts of Spontaneous Cerebral Violence

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Wired my ass

sac reprograms Wired's Rise of the Machines bot hierarchy:
Best Female Pleasure Bot

Loss of Consortium. This bundled software package is young, wet and legally bound. It does not discriminate between the sexes, which gives it an advantage over more well-known pleasure bots such as Eurotrash and Maccers, because everyone knows lesbians, even bot-lesbians, are HOT. Maybe if the maccers-bot had taken advantage of the recent foot-rubbing episode and turned it into a nautical Sapphic epic, it would have had a chance in this category. Sadly, the maccers-bot was not programmed that way.
Although sac's analysis is dead solid perfect, I have to differ with his conclusion. The category invokes pleasure, and while the LoC gals certainly do the pleasure thing incredibly well (and early and often), they are, fundamentally, law students. My friends, there is no law student (or lawyer, for that matter), male or female, that can rise above the fray to achieve the title of best when pleasure is the criterion. They may be fun. They may be sexual dynamos. But, come on . . . at the end of the day they are just a bunch of 3Ls (and one 2L). That ain't pleasurable to anyone.

My unbiased vote's squarely for Mrs. Kennedy. There is nothing but pleasure to be found here. And that's not even counting Jackson in the equation.

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