Incidental Acts of Spontaneous Cerebral Violence

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Summer. The time for crappy movies and even crappier books.

In today’s LA Daily Candy:

Hey, you. By the bookshelf. With that look of utter frustration on your face. There's something over here that might interest you.

Meet Tom. He's smart, sensitive, and a bit indecisive. (Hey, who isn't around graduation?) He's trying to enjoy his last carefree college days. There's just one problem: a mysterious 500-year-old text called the Hypnerotomachia Poliphili.

The Rule of Four is a thrilling tale of academic seduction and real-life heartbreak. Caught between the opposing forces of Renaissance Italy and idyllic Princeton, Tom tries to focus on his friends, his future, and his girlfriend -- and to ignore the powerful text that ultimately killed his father. But he finds himself increasingly unable to resist the scholarly temptation and becomes consumed with solving this ancient mystery. As Tom and his roommates get closer to its hidden meanings, danger assaults them from every corner of campus until each is ultimately forced to choose between real life and academic satisfaction.

We can't tell you how it ends. But we will say this ...

Your days of grumpy bookstore browsing are over.

That’s it. The entire e-mail. No mention of the author. At all. Anywhere. I suppose when all concerned parties are aware they are peddling trash the creators of the refuse become irrelevant.

It can go without saying that this screams Da Vinci Code (Amazon has even conveniently linked the two as a Best Value---no, I won't favor them with a link) without the pseudo-intellectual renaissance name in the title. Never read Leonardo’s book. Won’t be reading this either. I’ll stick with slitting my wrists while digesting this.

I honestly feel as if I lost a couple of IQ points while I read this PR drivel.

Of course, this fucking thing will probably sell 500,000 copies and my employer will option it against a high six-figure purchase price.

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