Incidental Acts of Spontaneous Cerebral Violence

Monday, May 03, 2004

I beg to differ

BMW drivers have more sex than owners of any other cars and are much more active than Porsche drivers, a new German car magazine has found.

The German magazine "Men's Car" found in a survey of 2,253 motorists aged 20 to 50 published in its inaugural May issue that male BMW drivers say they have sex on average 2.2 times each week while Porsche drivers have sex 1.4 times per week.

When I purchased the car and traded in the '89 Buick with windows that would no longer lower, Purmon, my friendly salesman, told me to come back and see him in six months: "I promise you that your life will be dramatically different," he said with a knowing smile.

And while my life has changed quite a bit since that revelatory evening in early January 2002, the UWIA (Uch Weekly Intercourse Average) has more-or-less remained consistent. And I don't mean consistently high. In fact, the Buick was a lot more useful in that arena than the convertible could ever hope to be. At best, the BMW's gear shift always gets in the way.

Of course, while quantity may remain unaffected by the BMW, quality has dramatically spiked. The car may not increase the number of panties you get into, but it certainly improves upon their overall essence (including those lovely ladies going commando).

BMW Drivers Get Most Sex?

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