Incidental Acts of Spontaneous Cerebral Violence

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

The Taxman Cometh

Random Thoughts as we approach April 15th:

I would love the fact that I’m getting a five-figure refund a hell of a lot more if it wasn’t solely due to the precipitous tax bracket drop that accompanied the job change.

Does anyone know of an IRC regulation that supports the deduction of my 60” Sony HDTV? How about my DVD burners?

Since I work for a movie studio I think I can write off my monthly Playboy TV subscription.

Hmmmmmm, my drug and alcohol expenses certainly should be included as deductible medical expenses. Let’s see, depression is a medical condition and I was miserable the 6 months I was working for BIG LAW FIRM in 2003. Shit, I don’t have any receipts. I wonder if my ATM statements will work . . . or maybe my dealer will sign a binding affidavit.

I wonder if I can claim my penis as a dependent? Maybe the car?

The way 2003 went, every time I took a girl to dinner it should be 100% deductible as 501(c)(3) charity. Hell, it’s not as if I got any fucking benefit out of it.

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